You Don't Have to Love Everything You Try

This is an actual message exchange between myself and a friend of mine. She said she wouldn't mind if I shared it with all of you:

My friend: Hey there ... so a question for my wise running friend. When am I going to start liking this running thing? Been doing it 3X a week for the past 5 or 6 weeks ... I am exasperated after 5 minutes ... how am I going to run a 5-mile race at the end of May? I want to enjoy it and people say I will .... ha ha ha, when does that happen?

Me: Oh, you expected to like it?! Haha! You might never like it--and you don't have to! However, you will probably gain fitness and lose weight if you stick with it--and it'll all be over by the end of May. The fact that you tried something new and took on a challenge is an amazing accomplishment!

The truth is that not everybody likes everything they try. I've never been a huge fan of swimming for fitness, or outdoor cycling, but I have friends who love them both, plus they run, so they are hooked on triathlons. For me, I'd rather stick with running. It's just something I discovered I really enjoy.

Do you run with a buddy or by yourself? Having someone to do it with can make a world of difference. While you're chatting away, time is ticking away and before you know it, you're done! You've exercised and caught up with your friend. (See? It's very efficient, and you know I'm all about efficiency.)

Also, do you run outdoors or only on a treadmill? I prefer outdoor running--weather permitting, of course. It's a completely different experience.

Anyway, don't give up--you may discover you like running after all. Six weeks isn't very long. Don't overdo, either, especially since you're new. Do you alternate running and walking intervals? That's a great way to get started and not burn out since you can adjust your workout to your own fitness level and increase from there. Let me know how it goes! I'm so proud of you for doing this.

My point, I think, is well made: Don't worry if you don't love every new thing you try in the name of weight control and a healthy lifestyle. You're not going to love every bite you pop into your mouth, and you're not going to love every activity you dabble in either. You don't adore everyone you meet, right? So why expect that of your fitness routine?

A side point: Don't let the fear of not liking something stop you from trying it; you may be pleasantly surprised at what floats your boat. And kudos to you for trying ANYTHING new in an attempt to become healthier (as long as it's sound). Life isn't about perfection; a lot of it is trial and error, so don't be afraid of the error part.

 

Sneaky Snacking

In a just world, none of the following would count toward our daily calorie allotment:

* Anything eaten while standing
* Tastings of food while cooking
* The last two bites of mac and cheese/pizza/rice/pasta on your kid's plate
* The brownie you grabbed because that apple just didn't look appealing
* Food samples from your local grocery/warehouse store
* Girl Scout cookies
* Candy off your co-worker's desk
* Anything eaten while drinking wine
* Anything eaten while drinking a beer
* At a salad bar, food that's not vegetables
* Anything eaten while still in your workout clothes

The truth is, those calories do count--which wouldn't be so bad except we probably don't count them. This is called "unconscious snacking" by the health experts, even though we're fully awake and cognizant when we're doing it. We just don't think it matters, but it does, and we don't realize how much it matters until our jeans don't fit or we can't make the scale budge. Repeat after me: Every bite counts.

The solution to sneaky snacking is, first of all, to be aware that we're doing it. The trick is not to berate ourselves for doing it, but just to notice and make a mental note to cut back on calories the rest of the meal or day to make up for it. This is not always easy because we'd really rather sweep it under the rug and pretend it didn't happen, but doing so will not lead us to victory in the weight-control game.

I like to build these little indiscretions into my eating plan for the day and figure out how I'm going to handle them. Just like a budget, I roughly figure out my calorie expenditure for the day and how much my indulgence is going to set me back. Now, it's a good idea not to indulge in sneaky snacking every day--particularly when you're in the losing-weight stage rather than the maintenance stage--because you may find yourself treading water weight-wise, and it can be a slippery slope down to simply giving up. But once a week or so should be often enough that you don't feel deprived and infrequent enough not to capsize your ship completely.

But you do have to be brutally honest with yourself and accept without judgment what you have done, then set it right. Remember: You're not fooling anyone but yourself if you don't take responsibility for your actions, and nowhere is this truer than in weight loss.

So, every so often, go ahead and eat that mini chimichanga or brie on a cracker or the last Thin Mint in the box--just reduce your intake at the next meal and relive the moment in your memory.

The 40-Plus Problem

Lately, I've been hearing a lot of friends complaining about extra weight creeping on that won't budge. Used to be, they say, a few trips to the gym and a few skipped desserts would yield a 5-lb. loss, but no more. What to do?

The sad truth, folks, is that life conspires against your losing weight after 40. Combine a slowing metabolism, reduced muscle mass, stress, possible thyroid dysfunction and a host of other factors, and it's no wonder we tend to put on pounds as we age. It's even harder for those people who never had to worry about their weight in the past because they were "naturally thin" no matter what they ate and never had to think about exercise--they're suddenly faced with educating themselves about weight loss and a healthy lifestyle at this advanced point in their lives, and then doing something about it. Not fair!

And not easy. But that doesn't mean impossible. Whether you've struggled with weight issues for the better part of your life or you've never given it a second thought, past-40 becomes the time of reckoning for most of us. Fortunately, the things you need to do to get your metabolism revving and lose that extra weight are things that are ultimately good for your health and longevity anyway--the weight was just a catalyst to get you moving.

So what's the first step? You must take a good, hard look at your diet. There's little hope of remaining healthy and fit if your diet is out of whack. Start filling it up with fruits and vegetables, lean protein, nuts, seeds, whole grains, water. Crowd out those starchy, refined carbs, processed foods, saturated fats and extra sweets. Stuck on recipes for a healthy diet? Start reading Cooking Light, Vegetarian Times, Fitness--all great for motivating you to eat well and get into a healthy mindset. Also be realistic about your portion sizes. A huge plate of food isn't necessary and won't help you lose weight--go for more moderate portions, and indulge in heavy meals less often.

Next, of course, is exercise. If you're already involved in an exercise program, keep doing it. Try changing up what you do and adding something new, like a new sport or an activity you've always wanted to try. (Parasailing? Cross-country skiing? Ziplining? Tai chi?) If you've never been an exerciser, no better time to start than now (after a clean bill of health from your doctor, of course). Exercise will help keep stress levels down, and since stress is a major contributor to weight gain (particularly belly weight), lowering your stress can help you lose weight.

You want more? Get enough sleep, see your doctor for a complete physical exam to rule out any health conditions that could be causing stubborn weight gain, and find time to relax and enjoy being with the people you love. Not very exciting, I know, but it works. Happy, relaxed people with strong social connections are less likely to turn to food for solace.

Good luck, and Happy New Year!

Staying Real During the Holidays

Who doesn't have mixed feelings about the holidays? "It's the most wonderful time of the year," to be sure, but after navigating the minefield of Halloween and the gorgefest of Thanksgiving, who has the willpower to make it through a month's worth of parties, food gifts, special dinners and candy on other people's desks?

You do.

The holidays are not the time to shelve your weight-loss goals. It may sound counterintuitive, but this time of year is actually perfect for reinforcing those goals. Here are a few goals you can work on during this happy chaos:

* Portion control--As in, is that whomping slice of pecan pie going to make you feel better or worse than a smaller sliver?
* Savoring flavors--There's nothing better than the flavors of the season, so enjoy them! You're much more likely to appreciate them if you're nursing one eggnog rather than gulping down three, or sampling your absolute favorite dark-chocolate cognac truffle instead of wolfing down four or five mediocre candies. Choose wisely.
* Exercise--I know, I know, there's no time. But exercise WILL help you feel better, less stressed, calmer, more energetic and more in control. Build your workouts into your schedule, and you won't feel so bad about a little overindulgence (but just a little!).
* Water--Drink lots of it. In fact, for every alcoholic drink you have at an event, follow it up with a serving of water. You'll feel fuller, and you'll be less likely to embarrass yourself from drinking too much of the other stuff.
* Fiber--With all the sweet and starchy treats, your digestive system is going to be screaming for some fruits, veggies, whole grains, nuts and seeds, so give it what it needs! You'll look better in your slinky party dress, too.

See? You can stick to your weight-loss plan during the holidays. Enjoy, but remember to balance not-so-smart choices with smart ones, and you won't be sorry come January 1.

Two important things for women

This post is in two parts, both related to women and the things that are good for them.

The first post came to me from my sister-in-law. Wise words about friendship from an unnamed writer:

"They Teach It at Stanford
I just finished taking an evening class at Stanford. The last
lecture was on the mind-body connection - the relationship
between stress and disease. The speaker (head of psychiatry at
Stanford) said, among other things, that one of the best things
that a man could do for his health is to be married to a woman,
whereas for a woman, one of the best things she could do for her
health was to nurture her relationships with her girlfriends.

"At first everyone laughed, but he was serious.
Women connect with each other differently and provide support
systems that help each other to deal with stress and difficult
life experiences. Physically this quality 'girlfriend time'
helps us to create more serotonin - a neurotransmitter that
helps combat depression and can create a general feeling of well
being. Women share feelings whereas men often form relationships
around activities. They rarely sit down with a buddy and talk
about how they feel about certain things or how their personal
lives are going. Jobs? Yes. Sports? Yes. Cars? Yes. Fishing,
hunting, golf? Yes. But their feelings? Rarely.

"Women do it all of the time. We share from our souls with our
sisters/mothers, and evidently that is very good for our health.
He said that spending time with a friend is just as important to
our general health as jogging or working out at a gym.

"There's a tendency to think that when we are 'exercising' we are
doing something good for our bodies, but when we are hanging out
with friends, we are wasting our time and should be more
productively engaged. Not true. In fact, he said that failure to
create and maintain quality personal relationships with other
humans is as dangerous to our physical health as smoking!
So every time you hang out to schmooze with a gal pal, just pat
yourself on the back and congratulate yourself for doing
something good for your health! We are indeed very, very lucky.
So let's toast to our friendship with our girlfriends. Evidently
it's very good for our health."

My second point is about something else that's very good for our health: strength training. Ever wonder if it's really worth all the sweat and effort (and sore muscles) to strength train? Wouldn't that time be better spent going for an extra run or doing a step class--especially if you're a woman? After all, how much stronger can you really hope to get?

I'm hear to say emphatically that strength training--when done correctly--DOES work.

Here's an anecdote for you: Today, I couldn't push myself out the door for yet another run, so instead I did a TaeBo DVD I hadn't done in well over a year: "Billy's Boot Camp, Ultimate Boot Camp." Let me tell you, that video used to make me cry it pushed me so hard. But today, after having diligently done my Bob Harper "Pure Burn Super Strength" DVD and Cardio Muscle classes all summer, the TaeBo tape was so much easier! Don't get me wrong--it was still tough, but not nearly as hard as it used to be.

Strength training really does build strength, as the name suggests. And by pushing yourself a little harder (lifting heavier weights, doing more reps, or simply training more often), you will build noticeable strength. Don't give up on this one--it's worth the effort!

Look to the Basics Before You Leap

I had an interesting question from a longtime friend who asked me what my thoughts were about a gluten-free diet and whether it might help her feel better (and get rid of some bloat). I told her this:

"Before you cut anything out of your diet, look at what you ARE eating: plenty of fruits and veggies, adequate lean protein, whole grains, nuts and seeds, water? Are you keeping watch on sodium and saturated fats, eliminating trans fats, minimizing intake of starchy refined carbs, sugar and processed foods?

"Finally, are you watching portion sizes, realizing that even if you're eating all the right foods, if you're eating too much of them, your calorie intake could be too high? If you're OK in all these areas, then lack of exercise could be a factor--remember all the good things exercise does for us (particularly as we age) aside from burning calories, like revving up our metabolism, boosting energy and aiding digestion.

"Go down the checklist above first, and if nothing is missing, try adding even more fiber-filled fruits and veggies to your diet in creative ways (spinach on your sandwiches, chickpeas, nuts and beans in your salads, etc.). If you've tried it all and nothing works, you might try looking at gluten, but I'm skeptical about going there first. It can be rather restrictive and may be unnecessary."

Now that's not to say that gluten-free diets don't work--for some people, they are a godsend since those particular folks have a sensitivity to gluten. But not everyone who is experiencing lack of energy, bloat or extra weight needs to go gluten free. A much better idea is to figure out if your basic diet is in sync with a smart eating plan, tweak it if not, then see what happens. You can always try gluten-free (or another plan) later. But why completely overhaul your diet if it isn't necessary?

Celebrating Anniversaries

This week, I'm celebrating some important anniversaries. In addition to 13 years of marriage to my wonderful husband, this week marks the third anniversary of my 25-lb. weight loss. I'm proud to say that not only did I reach my weight-loss goal three years ago, but I've also kept it off all this time--very meaningful to my health as well as my vanity.

It's no mean feat to lose a significant amount of weight. It takes persistence, determination and patience, among other things. Many people have reached this goal more than once--only to turn around and regain the weight (and often a few extra pounds as well) once they "go off" whatever diet, medication or restrictive eating plan they were on to lose the weight. Then they start over with weight loss, but they find it harder with each successive journey. This yo-yo dieting cycle wreaks havoc on your metabolism--pretty soon, your metabolism stays at the slow level no matter how little you're eating, and it's difficult to re-set it.

So I say, better to lose the weight and keep it off, right? And if you never "go on" a diet, you never have to "go off" a diet. That doesn't mean you'll never gain another pound. But if you have a reliable eating plan that brings you--healthily--to your goal weight, all you need to do is return to that plan in order to return to that weight.

When I'm eating the "right" way, I not only feel better (more energetic, happier), but my weight goes back to where I want it. I don't feel deprived, I know what to do when I'm hungry and I know which foods to avoid. I also know that I can indulge in a heavier meal once in awhile (like on my wedding anniversary), and it won't throw me into a tailspin, as long as I return to my eating plan afterward. It relieves the guilt and anxiety that used to be associated with "overeating," and it allows me to enjoy the indulgence completely.

Have you figured out your healthy eating plan yet--the one that will get you to your goal weight and keep you there? The one that will pull you out of a weight-gain slump and back into better habits? If not, now's the time to do so. And you can start celebrating your own milestones and anniversaries with pride and joy.